how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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