Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
