It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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