i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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