There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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