So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize