Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
