i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
