My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize