Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
