Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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