Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
