For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize