i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
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He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
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If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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