i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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