hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
