there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
