When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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