I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dating After Heartbreak
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine