Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.