xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.