Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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