Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
