Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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