can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
