OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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