I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
