Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
