The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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