We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
