I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
