My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
