At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
