I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
