she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
