i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
