i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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