I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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