Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
What a dumb baby whore.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
