Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
