i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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