I looked at my own cervix.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
sarcasm needs its own font
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Threesome in a minivan. New low
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
