you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Randomize
