Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
