Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard

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  (917): My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard http://tfl.nu/zt1l
  Replies (19) Good night (3124) Bad night (681)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.

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  (319): I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners. http://tfl.nu/k7br
  Replies (79) Good night (1929) Bad night (6925)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.

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  (802): you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv. http://tfl.nu/a1rt
  Replies (15) Good night (5557) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic

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  (952): I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic http://tfl.nu/w8wo
  Replies (18) Good night (5409) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.

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  (845): He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up. http://tfl.nu/zpkp
  Replies (3) Good night (2563) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town

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  (443): Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town http://tfl.nu/3b43
  Replies (1) Good night (2071) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions

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  (912): Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions http://tfl.nu/6v32
  Replies (3) Good night (1487) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.

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  (720): I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo. http://tfl.nu/cdzc
  Replies (17) Good night (1349) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick

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  (757): Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick http://tfl.nu/3rkl
  Replies (8) Good night (549) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.

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  (920): I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable. http://tfl.nu/ga3p
  Replies (5) Good night (1416) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.

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  (732): I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night. http://tfl.nu/l68a
  Replies (4) Good night (1157) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER

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  (412): I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER http://tfl.nu/g992
  Replies (3) Good night (997) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"

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  (817): Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn" http://tfl.nu/96q8
  Replies (3) Good night (602) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.

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  (928): it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird. http://tfl.nu/qac5
  Replies (5) Good night (494) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.

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  (609): I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack. http://tfl.nu/ai2z
  Replies (1) Good night (1197) Bad night (212)

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