I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT