Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
