Already got asked if we're dating
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.