ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
