Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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