they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
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I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
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I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We're too hungover to prance.
false alarm, still single
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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