yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
