These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Randomize
