Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
