You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize