if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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