dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
