Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
