i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
