Have you finally orgasmed yet?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
