Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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