Well apparently he's into motor boating.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
