I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
