he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
