if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
